Non-Feel-Good and Not-So-Nice Words of Jesus

(This is your warning that I’m discussing the forbidden topic of religion. I’m even going to quote Bible verses. If you’re cool with that, keep reading. If religion offends you, you should probably keep reading anyway. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.)

After reading my very rushed blog yesterday, my husband pointed out that it was both vague and somewhat accusatory. I knew it was vague— to be honest, I dashed it off quickly because I had other work to get done— but I didn’t mean for it to be accusatory. So, since I have more time today, I wanted to expound a bit on my statement. 

I spent a few hours the other day reading through sections of three of the Gospels: Matthew, Luke, and John. As I read, I marveled that, if asked to describe Jesus, most people, Christian or not, would probably say that he was a good teacher who taught us to love each other, be nice, and do good things. This is because some of his most famous teachings follow these lines (all quotes are from the NIV translation):

“Do to others as you would have them do to you.” (Luke 6:31)

“Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.” (Luke 6:36)

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble of heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

As a Christian, I believe everything that the Bible says is true. Therefore, when Jesus says that he is gentle and humble, I believe him. Most people would agree. But if you read his teachings long enough, you begin to notice that his overarching themes are much darker than happiness, niceness, love and peace. They are severe. They demand a giving up of life, not just a change of behavior. They are anything but feel-good.

Here are just a sampling of his teachings— and while many of them make more sense in context, most are just as difficult in context as they are out.

“Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. I have come to turn ‘a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law— a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’ Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.” (Matthew 10:34-38)

“But woe to you who are rich, for you have already received your comfort. Woe to you who are well fed now, for you will go hungry. Woe to you who laugh now, for you will mourn and weep. Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for that is how their fathers treated the false prophets.” (Luke 6:24-26)

“But he who disowns me before men will be disowned before the angels of God. And everyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but anyone who blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven.” (Luke 12:9-10)

“I came to bring fire on the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled! But I have a baptism to undergo, and how distressed I am until it is completed! Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division.” (Luke 12:49-51)

“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters— yes, even his own life— he cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:26)

When Jesus interacts with people, he is often compassionate, and/or, more commonly, cryptic. Other times, though, his dialogue is dripping with sarcasm:

At that time some Pharisees came to Jesus and said to him, “Leave this place and go somewhere else. Herod wants to kill you.”

He replied, “Go tell that fox, ‘I will drive out demons and heal people today and tomorrow, and on the third day I will reach my goal.’ In any case, I must keep going today and tomorrow and the next day— for surely no prophet can die outside Jerusalem!” (Luke 13:31-33)

Sometimes, as when he healed ten lepers and only one came back to thank him, he sounds arrogant:

Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?” (Luke 17:17)

Other times, he just chews people out:

He said to the crowd: “When you see a cloud rising in the west, immediately you say, ‘It’s going to rain,’ and it does. And when the south wind blows, you say, ‘It’s going to be hot,’ and it is. Hypocrites! You know how to interpret the appearance of the earth and the sky. How is it that you don’t know how to interpret this present time?” (Luke 12:54-56)

And he has no problem being impolitely blunt:

Jesus said to them, “If God were your Father, you would love me, for I came from God and now am here. I have not come on my own; but he sent me. Why is my language not clear to you? Because you are unable to hear what I say. You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desire.” (John 8:42-44)

In short, Jesus said a lot of nice things that can be written in fancy font on bookmarks to give us warm fuzzies— but the majority of his teaching isn’t like this, and many things he says are controversial or difficult enough to make anyone squirm. Cherry-picking the things we like and ignoring the things we don’t is an act of either disbelief or idolatry. It gives us an incomplete picture of who Jesus was, and what he was trying to tell us.

Jesus’ teachings do not exist to make his followers happy— they exist to make us more like God. That is not an easy or popular path. But it’s the only path he offers. Or, in his own words:

“If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.” (Matthew 16:24-25)

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The "C" Word

Like most travelers, I have a fear of Commitment. Words like “daily routine” and “phone contract” scare me, I avoid planning anything more than three days in advance, and there’s a reason I love my work-whenever-you-feel-like-it job. 

In contrast, over the past few days I’ve gotten a marriage license, been fitted for a wedding dress, and obtained a signed one-year lease agreement, which is currently sitting on my bedroom desk. Times change, I find a home in Missouri, and I learn to commit. 

The reason for this is, of course, my awesome husband-to-be. I learned that I would rather be in Missouri with him than anywhere in the world without him. (Yes, it’s sappy. No, I don’t care.) When I freak out about these mysterious and scary things called “utility bills,” and “deposits,” he’s here to say, “I’ll take care of it.” When I wail about settling down and stopping travel, he stays by me patiently until I feel better.

The bottom line for you free spirits out there? It may not be worth it to commit to things. But one of the most amazing things you’ll ever do is commit to a person.

I never thought I'd be this excited to pay someone thousands of dollars.

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Travel Tip Tuesdays: How to Couchsurf

I want to couchsurf but don’t know how to get started. How do I set it up?

Couchsurfing is a social networking site designed especially for travelers. Like Facebook, you create a profile, obtain “friends,” and join interest groups. However, you won’t be posting status updates about your insomnia or uploading photos of your dog in  a tutu… you’ll be perusing the site in search of adventure. 

There are three main things to do on the Couchsurfing site: finding connections to host, surf, or meet up with other travelers. Here’s a quick beginner’s guide.

First of all, join couchsurfing. It’s free to sign up, although they do encourage you to send a donation, which then confirms your home address. Sign up from this page.

My couchsurfing profile pic

Read all the FAQs and create a profile. You can do both from this page here. Seriously, they can explain it better than I can! If you’re a woman, I think it’s nice to post an unflattering picture of yourself to discourage guys who are attracted to a pretty face. Fill in every slot of your profile with as much information as possible, so people feel like they get to know you.

Before you try to host or surf, meet up with some couchsurfers at an event. There are lots of options explained here. Then the people you meet can leave you positive references on your profile. These are vital to a good couchsurfing experience: they are flags to your potential hosts/guests that you are not, in fact, a creeper.

Three tips for safety:

If you don’t feel comfortable hosting or surfing, volunteer to meet up with people. You can show people around your city, or, when traveling, meet a local who is happy to show you his favorite hiking path, museum, or bar. I started couchsurfing by meeting up with someone at the local ice-carving festival. 

Always read the references. If someone has 85 positive references and 1 neutral reference, you’re probably good to go. If someone has no references, they may be okay but they’re a much bigger risk. 

If you have a bad feeling about someone, then listen to that feeling. Intuition is a great ally in travel, and it’s there for a reason. Even if 165 people thought this surfer was great, but you get a funny feeling, go with your gut.

Elizabeth let my sister and I surf in her sailboat.

Three tips for hosting:

To sort out “mass emails,” ask surfers on your profile to write a password in their request to you. Any surfer who doesn’t use this password obviously didn’t read your profile, and probably isn’t worth your time.

Be sure to let your potential surfers know about your house rules. Fill out your profile completely. If you want them out of the house when you are, say so. Post a minimum or maxium stay. Tell them that you want them to do dishes, or that they should bring their own food. If you’re up front with this information, you’ll attract the right kind of guest.

Try to give your surfer a feel for your personality, your background, and the culture of your city/country. This is the point of couchsurfing: cultural exchange. If your guest is exhausted there’s no need to bus them all around the city, but it’s nice to offer some local advice and give them a cultural experience. My host in Colorado Springs took me to volunteer with a local urban art group, decorating the pillars in front of a building with mosaic tile— it was a fantastic experience I would never have gotten otherwise.

Three tips for surfing:

Send out about five thoughtful and specific couch requests at a time. As you get rejected, send out new requests. It can be extremely time-consuming, especially in popular cities during the high season, to find a couch, but keep plugging away.

I surfed in Amanda's RV, and we visited the Grand Canyon!

If you can’t find a host, try to find a “Last Minute Couches” group for that city and post a detailed message about your situation. That’s how (after about 30 failed couch requests) I got a couch in Salzburg, Austria.

Be a good guest. Do the dishes, fold your blankets when you’re done, make them an origami rose, and leave a nice thank-you note. Feel free to share about your culture, and ask lots of questions. Most couchsurfing hosts have traveled a lot, and should say so on their profile, so “Tell me about your hike up Mount Sinai” is always a good starting point.

This is only brushing the surface, but it should be enough to get you started. With Couchsurfing, whether hosting or surfing, the world is yours. Happy travels!

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