10 Photos of Me Being a Model

Question: What are the first two words out of anyone’s mouth upon meeting me for the first time?

Answer: “You’re tall!” 

My response is automatic: I glance down at my 6’0” body as if seeing it for the first time, then say, “You should see the rest of my family.”

Some people are slightly more creative. From about my twelfth year on, people chose to  ask, “Do you play basketball?” They always looked so disappointed when I said no, as if I had somehow let them down. When I was about eighteen, however, I experienced an ego-boosting change in the standard question. People began asking, “Are you a model?” Although my face has always been one of the more volcanically active bodies in the solar system, people are awed by height. And they are also generally nice and won’t say, “You’d be a great model if you lost 50 pounds and got a skin graft on your face.” So in response to this question, I just whoosh my hair around my face, purse my lips petulantly (who even knows what that word means, anyway? I can’t even spell it), and whisper in a breezy voice, “No, but thank you.”

I’ve given the modeling gig a try, with my favorite photographer… me. Tell me I’m not ready for the cover of Vogue when you see these astounding snapshots!

First rule of modeling: messy hair is sexy. See how sexy it is?!

Duo modeling can be fun if you have the right partner.

Here I demonstrate the key points of modeling: pursed lips, angry expression, and Space Needle in background.

If you get your picture taken in Utah, it will look amazing no matter what.

Don't wear too much makeup— you don't want to appear painted.

When doing product placement, be sure you look natural. See how completely candid this picture appears?

Always look pensive even if you're just thinking about cookies.

Did I mention the messy hair? (Picturesque ocean in the background helps too.)

When you're a model, you have to look like you're angry at the world.

Finally, whenever you can model while doing something sporty, do it. Even if the javelin only flies a few feet.