How to Look Photogenic

As a little girl, I was a blonde-haired blue-eyed beauty of a child, with curly locks and a sweet smile that looked like the cover of a parenting magazine. Somewhere around the age of eight or nine, that started going downhill. First I forgot how to smile, and instead bared my teeth. Then I started dressing myself, which resulted in ensembles involving red sneakers, sea-green sweat pants and hot pink turtlenecks (you think I’m exaggerating— I’m not). And to top it off, I had braces and Moe-worthy bowl-cut bangs. Over a decade later, I’m still reeling from the fallout of those disastrous adolescent years. 

Before I started traveling, I had little to worry about. But when I was taking pictures of myself up to twenty times a day for posterity’s sake, I soon learned that well over half the photos would look bad… and I could either embrace my lack of photogenic quality, or spend all my time worrying about it.

Thus, I started using the “Lisa Face,” which looks something like this:

This ensures that I always look peppy, even if I don’t look pretty. I soon realized it was the best face— people giggled when they saw the photo, and their attention was drawn to my crazy expression rather than my frizzy hair or the conspicuous lack of makeup. Since the first try was so well-received, I came out with several variations. These include but are not limited to…

The Greyhound Face. That blasted-out-oh-my-gosh-I-have-been-riding-the-Greyhound-for-eight-hours-and-they-suddenly-for-no-good-reason-marooned-me-in-Amarillo-Texas expression.

The Crazy Face. Similar to the Greyhound Face, it conveys that blasted-out-oh-my-gosh-I-have-been-riding-the-Greyhound-for-sixteen-hours-and-now-I’m-at-the-largest-McDonald’s-in-the-world expression.

The Sexy Face. In which I attempt to look as alluring as possible (Mary does it better than I do).

The I’m Lost Face. Sometimes I can make it look like I don’t even realize I’m taking my own picture, such as this moment in Spanish Fork, Utah, where I had no clue where I was.

The Moo Face. This rare expression pops up inadvertently whenever there are cows around, such as downtown Denver.

The Unawares Face. This (usually) only occurs when someone else is taking my picture, especially if, say, I’m wandering around a park in Seattle and impatient to stop the photo-taking and find a bathroom.

The Food Face. Yes, hamburgers do taste different in different places! (Especially at Hodad’s in San Diego.)

And finally, the Homeschool Face. This is more an entire outfit than a face— proof that I still have not gotten over my adolescent self. I can’t possibly think of anything dorkier than a backwards fanny pack worn askew.

But you know what? Today as I perused my iPhoto files for the most unflattering pictures, I found myself laughing again and again. Although the everyone-smiling shots keep a clear record of who was present, the goofy ones are infinitely more interesting. The next time you take photos for an event, please don’t worry about whether or not your hair is in place. The key to being photogenic? Purposefully try not to be.

Photo by Amanda Curry

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