Gone but Not Forgotten

A family saying got started when my Poppi (a North Carolinian nickname for “grandpa”) told us about a trip to the small graveyard where a couple dozen of our ancestors are buried. He read the different epitaphs as he walked along, but paused when he came to his grandmother’s gravestone. Inscribed above her date of birth and death were only these words: “She did the best she could.”

So much of our lives are focused on outcomes. You found a good spouse. You had a good job. Your kids turned out all right. You ran a successful business. You had a nice retirement. Everyone has an outcome that they focus on, anything from getting married to making it as a musician. Goals are good, as I am the first to emphasize. But sometimes, like today, I think of my great-great-grandmother’s epitaph, and I remind myself that life isn’t all about outcomes. No matter the successes or failures, I think it’s a high honor to deserve the words, “She did the best she could.”