Six Things to Remember About Monetary Wealth

1. There is no absolute standard for how wealthy is too wealthy.

2. A rich person who spends thousands of dollars on something seemingly extravagant is being more responsible with his money than someone who goes into debt to buy something unessential.

3. Everyone, no matter how rich or poor, buys extravagant things and calls them necessities. 

4. Spending less money than other people does not make you superior to them.

5. Other people’s money is their business, not yours.

6. From somebody else’s perspective, you are a stuck-up extravagant money-blowing wealthy person who should give more of their overblown salary to those who really need it. 

Judge not, lest ye be judged.

~~~

Baker Beach, San Francisco, California

Facebook Ads Are Weird

At the age of 24, I solidly inhabit the Internet generation. Although I remember the days of dial-up, when I could read an entire act of Macbeth while waiting for the AOL homepage to load, everything about the Internet seems pretty normal to me now. Despite some yelling and screaming at my slow wi-fi connection, I get the general principle of how things work.

These aren't the offending shoes.
But they are most certainly not
 approved by hobbits or elves, either.

Except Facebook ads. Facebook ads continue to baffle me. And you know what? It’s not even really the ads in general. It’s just one that I saw. No matter how many times I try to forget it, it just keeps circling back in my head.

This ad showed a ridiculously high-heeled and uncomfortable-looking shoe. Its caption? “Elves and hobbit approved.”

Can we all just pause for a moment and marvel at how horrible this caption is? 

Not only does it make the editor in me scream and die, but… seriously? Who thought this would be a good idea? What makes them think that a girl who likes Lord of the Rings wants trendy shoes? Don’t they know that hobbits don’t even wear shoes?!

Ah, Facebook ads, you never cease to amuse me. Or make me want to tear my hair out. Either way, I’m kept entertained.

~~~

Enemies, or Lack Thereof

As a kid, I was always upset that I didn’t have any enemies.

Sure, sometimes Eric annoyed me, Christian teased me mercilessly, and Mary got on my nerves, but we were all on the same side. In a crisis, I knew we were fellow soldiers in the great battle against… well, there was the problem. Who could we be against?

There was a neighbor girl we didn’t like, who was rude and made fun of us for being homeschooled. But Mom said to be nice to her, because she came from a messed-up family and was dealing with a lot of pain and hurt. Way to use sympathy to ruin a perfectly good enemy, Mom.

For a while, I was annoyed that our neighbor girls up the street screamed so much. I tried everything I could think of to construe it as an enemy attack, but it never held any water, so I gave up.

Ultimately, I realized there was no one in my life I could abjectly hate. I solved this problem in my usual fashion: I wrote a story. 

In the stories, the heroine and her trusty band of siblings and friends had to fight in self-defense against neighbor kids who literally wanted them dead. They had epic battles in the woods, fighting with sticks and using stealth and strategy. The enemy neighbors made bombs by setting pine cones on fire, and one of them tried to run over the heroine in his parents’ car. They almost killed her brother, leaving him for dead in the woods. But against all odds, the heroine was able to bring about peace in the end. I can’t remember how, but I think that she showed mercy to one of her enemies and used it as a way to proclaim the good news of Jesus.

In telling myself these stories, I discovered something that I didn’t process until years later: as much as I thought I wanted an enemy, I really just wanted everyone to get along in the end. Without the stories, I might not have figured that out.

~~~

Use Your Words (or, Fearfulness in Evangelism)

This article from the Voice of the Martyrs blog expounds on the famous St. Francis quote in a powerful way.

Read it here.

~~~

Travel Tip Tuesdays: 10 Simple Ways to Make Any Trip Miserable

Are you worried that your trip, vacation, or long-term sojourn is just going to be too much fun? Never fear! I’m hear to tell you 10 simple ways to thwart the enjoyment of any trip. Sound good? Read on…

1. Go into debt to take the trip. There are few things more miserable than financial distress, so if misery is your goal, this is the first way to go about it. Forget saving up for a trip or spending within your means… just blow as much money as you like and pay it back later (with interest)! 

2. Have unrealistic expectations. Think that the vacation will be unbroken sunny days with your itinerary going exactly as planned… think that your month of sojourning will be a rapturously meaningful finding-yourself experience… think that all the problems you have at home will magically vanish when you take to the road. These are all excellent set-ups for disappointment.

Bonus point: Get jet lag. You won't be able to enjoy anything.

3. If traveling with other people, quibble over insignificant things. Challenge every little decision, bring up endless unhelpful possibilities to any variable, and complain behind the decision-maker’s back. 

4. Also, when traveling in a group, be either really selfish, or a martyr. When you demand that everything is your way, or you let everyone else make the decisions and drown yourself in feelings of martyrdom, you are well on your way to a really miserable trip.

5. Spend money on things that don’t matter. Obligatory presents for people at home, expensive hotels, food that you don’t really want to eat, a museum that bores you to tears— you have unending options for this misery-inducing step.

6. Stay chained to your schedule. Create an unrealistic itinerary (see point #2) and stick to it, avoiding flexibility or spontaneity of any kind. You’ll be miserable in no time!

7. Don’t take any rest days. Go, go, go for as many days as possible, all day long, until you’re completely burnt out. This makes you extra grouchy and sucks all the fun out of any trip.

8. If something goes wrong, freak out. Instead of thinking about how to solve the problem or adjust your schedule, have an emotional breakdown. This will make you miserable, and with a little practice, you can make everyone else in your group miserable as well.

9. Be rude and withdrawn toward everyone. Don’t smile or chat with anyone on the bus, at the hotel, or on the street. Make no effort to reach out to anyone, and keep yourself secluded in a little bubble of pure, lonely you.

10. Worry about everything. This is the most sure-fire way to be miserable— and it’s also the easiest. There are always a million things to worry about when you’re on the road, so if you spend just five minutes on each one, you will entirely ruin the trip.

So there you go— ten unbeatable steps to create stress, grouchiness, and just plain misery on any trip. If that’s your goal, it’s easy to succeed. If it’s not your goal, then you need to put in some effort to avoid it. After all, sometimes it’s best to know what not to do.

~~~

On Introverts and Extroverts

Around the time Zachary and I started dating, I began learning about introverts and extroverts. He is a major introvert, and I’m an extrovert, so there were some basic communication problems. I was stunned to realize that there are two basic types of people, who have a starting point that is so far apart, it’s hard to relate to the other. That was my first real introduction to the concepts of introversion and extroversion.

As the Jung-Myers-Briggs test becomes more popular, the public consciousness of these differences in basic personalities is becoming more widespread.  This is a good thing. It’s helpful to know whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, because that helps you understand the way you relate to other people.

The biggest revelation for me was that introversion and extroversion had nothing to do with how shy you are. An extrovert can be painfully timid; an introvert can be ridiculously outgoing. The nature of your base personality is the way you relate to people. 

It’s simple to remember, the Internet tells me: introverts spend their energy when they’re around other people, whereas extroverts gain their energy from other people. We get images of introverts ducking into the corner of a party to carry on a one-on-one conversation, and extroverts yucking it up in the center of the room with seven people. 

Again, this kind of analysis is helpful, but it’s important to remember that people don’t fit into neat little categories. For instance, I’m an extrovert. This is clear by the fact that I mostly experience life as it happens to me instead of as it happens within me; I can sympathize with and instantly befriend practically anyone; and I prefer conversations with three or more people to one-on-one interaction. However, that doesn’t make me a social butterfly with boundless energy who knows no strangers.

I am painfully shy. I usually forget this fact because I generally inhabit my comfort zones (people I know, social situations that don’t require me to say anything, etc.), but it’s a fact. (Growing up as a homeschooler, I felt forced to be outgoing because everyone was just waiting for every homeschooler to prove the “undersocialized freak” stereotype.) I would rather take a vow of silence than call someone on the phone. If attending a party of people I don’t know well, I have to spend at least an hour getting myself mentally psyched. I often get nervous about talking too much and would rather have another person carry the bulk of the conversation. When I’m in a social situation that falls outside my comfort zone, I just want to hide in a corner by the punch bowl. One-on-one interaction is incredibly draining, even with people I love. And I greatly enjoy reading, journalling, and working through my thoughts in my writing.

Knowing whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert is very helpful. But when you’re figuring it out, remember that there are many shades of gray. Stereotypes are useful, but it’s important to remember that they’re still just stereotypes.

~~~

Sunken boat, off the coast of Key Largo, Florida

100-Word Memoir: Stars, Planets, and Fish

One night when I was little, Mary and I were lying awake when Dad walked in, carrying a flashlight. He said, “Your glow stars aren’t bright enough.”

He held the flashlight against the glow-stars and planets on the ceiling. He lit up the glow paint on my poster of deep-sea fish. The three of us cuddled together, watching the whitish-green patterns shine in the darkness. Whenever they started to fade, Dad relit them.

The effect was magical. We sat for a long time, wrapped in darkness with the stars and the planets and the fish all aglow.

~~~

Goofing Off with My Sister. As Usual.

When Mary and I first visited California, we thought that Montara State Beach looked enough like a desert to merit wrapping our sarongs around our heads for this picture:

I guess Mary liked it in California, because she kept going back until she moved there to stay. I miss you, sisser.

~~~

Travel Tip Tuesdays: How to Save Money on the Road

Volunteer vacation + host family with National Parks pass = happy Lisa
(Angels Landing, Zion Canyon, Utah)

What are some good money-saving tips on the road?

After getting this question from one of my friends, I rummaged through all my “Travel Tip Tuesdays” blogs in confusion. This search left me with a question of my own: How have I not covered this topic before?!

Extreme budgeting has always been one of the main focuses of my travels. On my Epic Trip Out West of 2011, for instance, I spent (including airfare and all expenses) an average of $15 a day. Now that’s budget!

I’ve danced all around the subject of budget travel in several of my blogs (and written about general money-saving here), but I’ve never tackled it head-on. So, without further ado, here are some general principles that have guided me.

Find the cheapest transportation. Getting to your destination is one of the most expensive parts, so focus on saving money on this. I’m not a big fan of price-checking a bazillion sites online, although if you find that fun, go for it (or try Expedia or Kayak). In general, you can get much cheaper flights if you travel a) on weekdays instead of weekends, b) not on or around holidays, and c) between Labor Day and Memorial Day, not the other way around. (See my blog about forms of transportation.)

Cut down on your lodging expenses. This is often the biggest expense on a trip, so if you can cut out even a few nights of hotels, you’ll save yourself hundreds of dollars. Hostels are great for the solo traveler (see safety tips here), but a hotel is often cheaper for two or more people. Hotels will often give you a better rate if you stay a week (or even if you just haggle a bit). And of course, I’m a big believer in Couchsurfing (see my blog)!

Bring your own food. Experiencing local cuisine is fun, but if you limit your restaurant meals, you free up your budget. Non-perishable snacks are great, and it’s even better if you pack some things that double as meals, such as trail mix or Clif bars. (See my blog about travel foods I like.)

I spent a whole afternoon at the free
Degrazia Gallery in the Sun.

Focus on free attractions. Taking your whole family to a museum can drain you dry in a day, leaving you no money to spend on smaller pleasures. Use the Internet to search for free days at popular attractions, be on the lookout for coupons, and seek out cheap or free things to do. Nature areas, art galleries, farmer’s markets, city events, self-guided walking tours, and festivals are usually free and fun! (I've also written about places I generally like in every city.)

Prioritize. As in any financial circumstance, the point of budgeting when you travel is to make sure that you prioritize the things that are important to you, rather than wasting money on things you don’t care about. If food isn’t a big deal, eat PBJ and use that money for something else. If you don’t care how you get to a destination, book yourself on a crammed (read: cheaper) flight. (I’ve written a couple blogs about priorities, here and here.)

With just a little preparation and creativity, budget travel can be safe, relaxed, and just plain fun. Bon voyage!

~~~

"Yes, Dear."

At my wedding shower last year, my friend Emily B. gave me this card:

While I laughed loudly, most of the other women in the room were less enthusiastic, with reactions from confusion to barely-concealed disapproval. One of them joked that the variation of “Yes, dear” was what Zachary was supposed to say to me, not the other way around. This was not a new reaction: Zach had already had to endure that suggestion a dozen times from different jokesters (some slightly more serious than others).

I found it interesting that everyone, without social consequence, could imply that Zach should submit to me, but it was taboo to suggest that I should submit to him. And yet, since we are both Christians and both believe that the Bible should be taken seriously, that is exactly what I’m supposed to do.

My allegiance is, first and foremost, to God, so if Zach’s orders and God’s orders collided, I would need to stay true to my first love. However, Zach has never made me make that choice. We have our less-than-shining moments (me especially), but all in all, he makes it easy to submit to him because he’s very easygoing, sensitive, and considerate. In short, he loves me. And that fact makes it a whole lot easier for me to say “Yes, dear” when he makes a decision. I get loved and he gets respected. It’s like God designed this to be a good marriage model or something. Weird, huh?

In the end, the “yes, dear” joke is just a joke. But it’s important that we let the joke apply to both spouses, instead of regulating it to husbands. After all, I think it’s pretty funny.

~~~

Cow herders, Netherlands

Travel Stories: Insights from Two Wandering Dutchmen

In 2011, when I was volunteering at the Everglades International Hostel in Florida City, I met two guys from the Netherlands. Thijs and Job (pronounced “Tiess” and “Yohb”) had bought a cheap van and were launching a road trip across the US. They spoke with graceful Dutch accents (their English was excellent), talking about sleeping in their van and creating their game plan if a cop ever confronted them: “We will just use stronger accents,” Thijs said, “and pretend to be dumb foreigners.”

As we played a dice game, they talked about their target cities. I was surprised to hear that St. Louis was one of them. “Not many people want to go to the Midwest,” I told them. “Most people just skip it. They call it ‘flyover country.’”

“I hear there is good music—” Thijs began, but he didn’t finish his sentence, because at that moment Job blurted out, “NASCAR!” in the best backwoods-Kentucky accent I’ve ever heard.

We had to pause the game, I was laughing so hard.

~~~

100-Word Memoir: War in Europe

WAR IN EUROPE!

Trembling, I stared at the newspaper. War? Now? In Europe? I thought of Great Uncle Norman, who died in WWII. Poppi served in the navy during Korea. If Vietnam had continued one more month, Dad would have been drafted.

Almost in tears, I ran to find Mom. “Mom, there’s a war going on!”

She looked at me with sad but resigned eyes. “Lisa, there’s a war going on somewhere in the world every day.”

Stunned, I silently turned away. I crept into my bedroom and played with blocks— conscious for the first time of losing childish innocence.

~~~

Advice for Aspiring Birdwatchers

Whenever I talk about hiking or camping, I often find myself describing the birds— from sighting a summer tanager for the first time, listening to whip-poor-wills, figuring out what kind of owl was hooting “Who cooks for you?”, or simply discovering a swift trapped in my laundry room. Birds are second only to insects as the most common animals you’ll see out in nature. They are captivating, delicate, and fleeting. I love to watch them fly and forage, seeing how each bird, from the Canada goose to the black-and-white warbler, behaves in a unique but distinctly bird-like way. 

People have asked me more than once how I know so much about birds. The first answer to that question is that I’ve always loved them, and I always wanted to know what kind of birds were alighting on my parents’ feeders. A field guide soon answered my questions: black-capped chickadee, tufted titmouse, white-breasted nuthatch, Carolina wren, grackle, starling, northern cardinal. The more I studied, and the more I familiarized myself with the different groups of birds, the more excited I was when I’d see a bird I hadn’t seen before.

As a kid, I used a photo guide that sorted the birds by basic shape, and then by color. This helped me learn about the different groups. As a grown-up, I love the more precise guide that my grandma-in-law got me for Christmas: The Sibley Field Guide to Birds. These entries are sorted by family, so it’s helpful to know if what you saw was in the crow, finch, or swallow family. Its illustrations are superb, and the text points out “field marks” (distinctive features that help you identify the bird) and describes each bird’s song.

So, if you’re interested in learning more about birds, try these three things:

1. Buy a field guide (or check one out from the library), making sure it’s specific to your region. Spend some time looking through it and identifying the most common birds you’ve seen.

2. Find a good place to watch birds. (If you live in the St. Louis area, I highly suggest Powder Valley Nature Center, which has a huge indoor bird-watching area. For a more natural setting, Buford Mountain Conservation Area is full of birds.) Most state park websites have a note of good places to bird-watch.

3. Take notes, draw pictures, look through binoculars, and enjoy these marvelous works of creation!

~~~

10 Photos of German Walls

Today as I was skimming my Europe photos in search of something blog-worthy, I realized I was cherry-picking a lot of photos of German walls. Granted, I’ve already posted 10 photos of German doors— but the walls are almost as interesting. So, without apology, I give you this blog, as well as some advice: if you have to choose any place on earth to sit and stare at walls all day, choose Germany. 

Nuremberg. Note the reliefs that portray the different occupations present in the city. 

House in Amberg.

Outside a shoe shop.

Doesn't this gargoyle look like a muppet?

Note the jester's mask in the window.

Weapons in Nuremberg's castle.

Reflection of St. Elizabeth's Church, Nuremberg.

I love the street signs, even though they're sometimes difficult to find.

The Amberg city wall, the longest surviving wall of its age in Germany.

Note the stone foundation, which gives way to cheaper wood in the upper stories.

My Birthday

When I mentioned to my church Bible study group that my birthday was coming up, I also told them I was turning 24. The leader half-smiled and said, “Usually I ask women if they’re turning 25… but I guess that’s not really a compliment at your age.”

Still, here I am, solidly in my mid-twenties, watching teenager-dom drift further and further away (thank goodness). It’s been seven years since I graduated, four years since I first started traveling, and eight months since I got married. It’s been a year of great change for me as I struggle to adjust to a new way of life, find the balance between housewife and adventurer, and learn what it means to be a wife of noble character.

My special day was fairly quiet: I spent the morning with some friends who were visiting from Oklahoma, then ate pizza with Zachary, my dad, and my two brothers. Zachary took me to the mall, where we walked in laps around the loop of stores, savoring the air conditioning. He led me into the store Ross and patiently waited while I rooted through their dresses, filling his arms with maybes. He ended up buying me two dresses and some frozen yogurt. Back at home we took a nap, watched The Incredibles, and topped off the night by reading a chapter of Art and the Bible by Francis Schaeffer together.

The years are slipping by more quietly than they have in the past. Years ago, I felt the need to announce my birthday with crazy water-balloon parties and copious amounts of cake. Now, I feel like a year is very little time. A birthday is worth noting, and worth celebrating, but it’s not the grand event it once was. And, most of the time, that’s okay with me.

~~~

Rock in stream bed, Washington

Am I the only person who thinks this rock looks like a cartoon whale?

My Mom, the Drama Queen

My mom is always pulling stunts to try to get attention.

She may look like a sweet, honest, fun-loving mother of four, but really, she is always upset that everything isn’t about her. That’s why she is constantly contracting medical problems, like seizure disorder and random food allergies, so we’ll all pay attention to her. When Eric’s appendix burst, Mom couldn’t stand that he got all the attention, so her appendix burst too. She was determined to contract a worse infection, stay in the hospital longer, and almost die more times than Eric did— and she succeeded.

Sheesh, Mom, can you stop already?

Her latest stunt is developing a severe case of pancreatitis, which has landed her in the hospital for two days already. The normal level for a certain enzyme is the blood is 400— and her count was at 30,000. Overkill much? All of us in-town kids have been to visit her, as she sits propped up in the hospital bed, chatting with people on the phone, reading Calvin and Hobbes, and telling the nurses that she doesn’t need pain medication because she feels fine.

We and a few friends did get to watch the St. Charles fireworks display from the fifth floor of the hospital, which looks right out on the river. So I guess if Mom had to be attention-mongering, Independence Day was a good day to do it.

But seriously, Mom, it’s time to come home. This is just getting ridiculous.

~~~

20 Random Things I've Learned on My Travels

1. You shouldn’t wash vegetables or fruit in hot water, even if you’re working in an outdoor kitchen and it’s freezing outside.

2. Despite all attempts to convince me otherwise, folding fitted sheets is still impossible.

3. No matter where you’re headed, it is never a bad idea to bring a water bottle.

4. In the Pacific Northwest, blackberries grow like weeds. They are very tasty.

Tastiest weeds I've ever eaten.

5. It’s easier to talk about deep subjects with someone you’ll probably never see again.

6. If you keep a couple of ducks on a farm, they will eat the slugs that demolish your gardens. However, the ducks will also eat seedlings, so you have to keep the beds covered with a translucent fabric.

7. Making a family recipe for someone is one of the best ways to have a cultural exchange.

8. You should always ask the bus driver where your stop is, even if he rolls his eyes and gives you the you’re-an-idiot face.

9. Goats are a lot more independent than sheep, so herding them can be difficult.

10. When chopping vegetables, it’s important to keep the knife blade in contact with the cutting board, and tuck your fingertips under.

11. All churches with a website should post an honest dress code on their site (“We welcome everyone, but most of the gentlemen wear three-piece suits and the women wear full-length dresses and Sunday hats”), or else include pictures of the congregation to show what people typically wear.

12. The bus/train going to or from an airport is a good place to strike up a conversation with a stranger.

13. Compost toilets are actually a lot less gross than port-a-potties. 

14. Most people don’t mind if you ask them for favors.

15. It’s unsafe to assume that shelf-stable sausage remains shelf-stable when you open the package.

Bus or supporting this guy? I think the choice is clear.

16. “Mint” is the name of a family of plants, not a specific variety. When people say they want “just plain mint,” they probably mean spearmint.

17. When walking, you should always carry extra layers in case of a sudden change in weather.

18. Washing the grime off your face, arms, and legs can make you feel instantly cleaner.

19. In a country that doesn’t speak English, it’s important to learn both translations of “Excuse me”— as in, “Sorry I bumped into you” and “May I have your attention?”

20. It is always worth it to give the buskers your bus money. 

~~~

Good Advice

Think in the morning, act in the noon, read in the evening, and sleep at night. 

~ William Blake