Tolkien Quotes: Unguarded Advice

Reposted from 8/22/2010

“Elves seldom give unguarded advice, for advice is a dangerous gift, even from the wise to the wise, and all courses may run ill.”

This is the root of my entire outlook on giving and receiving advice. Tolkien, through Glorfindel, makes two observations: first, advice should never been given carelessly; second, no decision or choice is foolproof. In this blog I’ll focus on the first point.

The world is full of people who want to give opinions on everything. The most tolerable of these are ones who have no idea what they’re talking about— they are downright amusing sometimes. “You’re a writer? You should be an English major. You should apply to be a magazine columnist. You should write book reviews. You should try to get something in the New York Times. You should write picture books about Jesus.” These are obvious examples of wasted breath, an exaggerated picture of the advice we receive every day. These are easy to laugh off.

When the advice is more serious or accusatory, it’s not so easy to keep chuckling. For instance, many people in my life advised me to go to college— without ever taking the time to figure out what I was doing instead. I’ve been advised to rebound into another relationship after the breaking of an engagement, and to be “smarter” next time by being suspicious and uncommitted. I’ve been advised not to trust certain people (who later proved trustworthy), and to take my place in the world as an empowered female— which at this point would mean abandoning the calling in my family. All of this advice springs from preconceived ideas, paradigms of what the advisers think I should be: unguarded advice.

What, then, is “guarded advice?” This is where wisdom and selflessness come into the picture. When faced with a difficult decision, a mature person will already know the answer deep down, if only given the chance to uncover it. A discerning person can draw out that truth by asking questions, pointing out pros and cons, and referring the decision-maker to truth from other resources. Actual advice is rarely necessary. The adviser must draw on his wisdom, but he must not try to take control. The role of one who gives advice is not to throw adages or opinions at people, but to guide them to the decision that was there all along.

Does this mean that every venture will succeed if only we believe in ourselves? Of course not. Tolkien’s whole worldview denounces this idea, and I’ll elaborate on that later.

The role of advice— whether given or received— is to expose and test the Truth already hidden within. A wise man will say neither yes or no, only show the decision-maker what the decision truly is.

~Lisa Shafter